Jalopnik

What is a Connectedness Index?

Your Gawker Connectedness Index is simple to calculate, and fun for even the most mathematically challenged. First, we'll supply you with a simple parsing algorithm. Then, you just plug in some data. Take a look at the below diagram.

The 'Input' is simply how many comments you make weekly, with the 'Stack' representing how many times you click 'more' on our posts. The 'Action table' is the sum of the two, divided by π. Solve for n.

Don't worry about the 'Goto table' for now. We'll come back to that when we calculate the 'Output'.

Now we've got your Connectedness Index, so we just need to compare you against the other commenters in the Gawker Media network to see what percentile you belong in.

Start with the below formula, with n being your Index. N is your age, and p is your street address, divided by the apartment number. If you live in a house, substitute your number of bathrooms.

Now you know what percentile you belong in! Wasn't that fun???

Ok, we were just BS'ing you…but now you can see how much work we put into this thing!

Your Gawker Connectedness Index lets you and everyone else know if you're one of the cool kids. So get out there and follow some other commenters, and maybe even say something that makes you worth following. High School may be over, but you still desperately want to fit in.

Connectedness permeates virtually everything you do. It's a blend of status and convenience, a badge of tech-savviness that you display in your everyday interactions.